The first time in three years that I've been alone on Valentine's Day. Which in itself sucked, but actually the day wasn't so bad. It was another one of those days where I felt very productive due to running in the morning again (this seems to be turning into a trend for me!), and I spent three and a half hours talking with a friend in Freebirds about all kinds of nerdy TV shows and books, which was unexpected and fun. I don't think I even still realized it was Valentine's Day at that point, which is probably good.
I actually intended to write this post last night because I am sure I was going to say all kinds of depressing crap about Her. But then I randomly fell asleep at midnight, which pretty much never happens anymore. So, I didn't. However, I did have a pretty depressing dream, among other very strange dreams that I do not remember. Also I should mention at this point that I am going to refer to "her" as Dove.
I don't remember too many details from this dream, but the main point is that Dove and I tried to get back together. She was still living somewhere other than here in her hometown, so for whatever reason I traveled to her and that's when we were going to start dating again. I don't remember if I knew in the dream whether I asked her to try again or if she asked me. So I get to wherever the hell this place is (I didn't recognize anything that I can remember) and she is busy doing all kinds of stuff so I don't get to see her right away. When I finally do she only has a few minutes to talk before going to do something else, so she asked me if I could pick her up at some specific place at 1:45. Weird that I remember the time but not the place...Anyway, I agreed to pick her up then, and then I just went somewhere to do things while waiting to pick her up. At this point I do not remember at all what I was doing, but I do remember that I completely forgot about Dove and having to pick her up, as in I didn't even remember that I was in this place Because of Dove. Then it was like 4:00 or something and I remembered that I didn't pick Dove up.
In retrospect it's weird that she hadn't called me or texted me to ask where I was, I can't remember if there was an explanation for that in the dream...So, I go to her place of residence (wherever that was) and she was just livid at me, and basically we had a huge fight and then I think I moved on to a different dream, or maybe woke up temporarily. Once I was awake later in the morning and I remembered the dream, it really made me feel awful because it reminds me how, early on in our relationship, she used to get mad that I didn't think of her enough and that I was too selfish. It was never anything as bad as completely forgetting that she needed to be picked up, but she definitely got upset with me about a few things. It also made me run through the emotions I would experience if Dove and I actually did get back together in real life, which was really just very strange and confusing. As far as I know there is absolutely no chance of us getting back together, even though I guess I don't consider myself completely over her yet, sometimes. I dunno.
Life can be dumb.
Oh I got my first jury summons today! My mom got it at their address, then mailed it to me and I just have to fill out the disqualification section since I'm not currently a resident of my hometown. Shweetness!
Well I'll leave this here for now, so until next time, TTFN!
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