Mmmmkay...

It's been a little while since my last post. Looking back at that now...haha. I should've known that my 100% security and lack of my mind working against me wouldn't last for particularly long. Ohhhh well.

So I have this thing with the way I think...I may have mentioned it before, I'm too lazy to go back and check. I over-analyze EVERYTHING. Like, all the god damn time. Seriously. I do appreciate the fact that I have a very logical side to me, because it is useful in many situations. However, I am almost always just totally unable to turn it off. Sometimes I don't want to think about things such as "Oh my god why hasn't this close friend texted me in over four days, and why did such-and-such say that to me this way today, normally he's so different" just UGH. Oh good, I'm in a whiny mood. Wunderbar! As if that's never happened before. SO

I also have an extremely emotional side. I have always known this, but I really wasn't particularly in touch with it until my relationship with Dove (of course, before that, I didn't know that I was in fact not in touch with it--typical teenager mindset). I'm sure in the future I am likely to meet more people and do more things that will put me even more in touch with that side of myself. This is good. I love my emotional side. And when my emotional side and my logical side work in tandem, the results can be glorious and beautiful. But about 95% of the time they do not, at least not when it comes to matters of importance.

Anyway, this was all leading up to the point that my logic and over-analysis have begun their takeover of the situation which was (and still is) my source of giddiness. It is really really frustrating, because I know that in the past my logical side has been correct about some part of my situations about 85% ish of the time, even though I can tell myself Ohhh I'm just overthinking this, I need to relax more and everything will turn out fine. No. It doesn't always turn out fine. This situation seems to be unique though because I'm getting that negative feedback from my logical brain screaming the usual like Hey! Don't forget this happened this way, and then that, but never this--you get the idea. But simultaneously I am getting legitimate incredibly positive feedback from my emotional side, and even a part of my logical side is giving off a few positive vibes! So needless to say I am in some ways, extremely confused. In other ways, I am still very sure of what's happening right now.

Ok fine. Let's make this easier for everyone to understand. I think the majority of people reading this do not know who MBD is, and if you do then you already know about this situation, so no harm done. So bluntly, I have been hanging out with MBD a lot and we went on a date, and hopefully things will move toward a relationship soon. :) Exciting? Yes. Unexpectedly awesome? Yes. Rendering too many of my thought processes completely useless due to distractions of the MBD variety? .....Unfortunately yes D: So essentially I just am not sure whether I should be taking the warning signs in my head seriously or not. I am having a sit-down talk with MBD tomorrow about several important topics, so that we may better understand each other afterward and whence we're each coming. I'm hoping that after that, most (if not all) of these warning signs will be dust in the wind (ha :D), and we'll be one step closer to a full relationship. We shall see.

I may or may not post as soon as I can after my Friday evening activities are over, to tell you all about my talk with MBD after it has happened. *shrug* depends how I'm feeling, I suppose, and how late it is. And how tired I am. Those are sort of the same thing. Which means I'm repeating myself. Which means I am probably tired right now. Which means I should get some sleep. Which means....Wait what?

I was gonna drift off on a tangent about how needy I am again, but suffice it to say, for now, that I am sooooo freakinnnnnn needyyyyyy! Hopefully that isn't a turn-off for MBD, and hopefully once things are cleared up a little bit I'll be more secure and less needy. And hopefully I will WIN!

Meowhahaha. TTFN, suckas!