So I've been continuing my extension into the more social aspect of college life and it has still been rewarding so far. Last Saturday night I stayed up until about 4:30, with several "new" friends at their house, and it was wayyyyy fun! The only weird down-ish side is that I'm beginning to enjoy the company of all these people and then I look back at the past four years of my life and wonder why I've never become friends with these people before.
Well, I know the answer, really. I gave myself completely to Dove. I don't regret that. And the next time I get into a serious relationship, I will again fully give myself to whomever it may be. But this next time I'll be able to do it with slightly more wisdom, I'd like to think. We shall see.
Speaking of relationships, things didn't pan out in that way with Thorn, nor with Shrink. I am now just close friends with both of them, and generally everyone is happy. Lol. And, hey, guess what, there's yet another new interest....I guess I am kinda on a roll, huh? Well, if I am, then I wish I weren't. I'd prefer to find a good one and stop there. But I suppose it's at least a little bit good that I'm not having attachment issues with each new potential interest, the way I would've pre-Dove. This new interest, I shall call her....Bee. Hmmm...yeah, what the heck. If she reads this blog then she'll probably get that reference and realize I'm talking about her, and as far as I know, she hasn't yet realized I'm interested. Though that is likely to change tomorrow. If things go as planned. MWAHAHAHAHA. Ahem. Excuse me, there. But I don't think that she will read this post, or that she even knows I write a blog. Perhaps I'll tell her, as part of my evil plan! Nahhhh.
Anyway. Bee. Hmmm....I'm kind of too tired to describe her much, but she's also sort of one of these "new friend" types that I'm just starting to get to know, and it happens that I'm feeling an interest further than friendship in her. Based on our interactions so far, I'd (objectively) say it's plausible that she is interested in me as well, but it's also just as plausible that the signs I'm taking as an interest really are just gestures of wanting to become really good friends. Soooo it's that kind of situation, right now. Which is a little bit frustrating. But weeee shall see what happens tomorrow, if anything....those of you reading who already know about this person, I bet you can't even guess what my "plan" is. Hehe. It's pretty simple really. But you'll find out soon enough. If it turns out she holds no interest in me whatsoever I might be a bit disappointed about putting the...effort into my simple plan that I did, but oh well. Life is about risk! Yeah! Wish me luck in my endeavors!!
Ohhhh it's probably time to sleep. Conducting in the morning YESSS so much FUN wait, that's wrong NAHT FUHN mhmmm sleepy time.
TTFN!
Tuesday, April 30, 2013
Monday, April 15, 2013
Interesting things are happening...
Mrrr, I'm not exactly sure how to feel about what I've been thinking lately. Inversely, I'm not sure what to think about how I've been feeling lately.
See what I did there?
I'm a clever boy.
Well, focused as I tend to be on this aspect of my life, I'll just out with it. New romantic interest(s), I do have (I'm Yoda?).
It's been a long time since I experienced the sensation of liking more than one girl at the same time (mostly just because it's been a long time since I was single before Dove), and it was confusing me a decent amount when I first realized that that is what's happening. I came to an internal resolution about it, though, which made me much more at peace with the fact that these multiple feelings can exist.
So, one interest, to whom I shall refer as....hmmmmmm. Maybe...no. Shrink! Ok. She is now Shrink. Lol. Nooooo one is going to get that except her ^_^ So, Shrink and I recently started becoming more active friends, and we've been hanging out somewhat regularly and getting to know each other for the first time, even though we've been at school together for 4 years. As we started talking more and hanging out we developed a particular dynamic between the two of us, and it was kiiiiind of flirtatious, but at the same time, not blatantly obvious enough for me to be like "Whoa she's definitely flirting with me." So I wasn't sure if I really did like her or I just wanted to get to be really good friends with her. After a while I decided I would put slightly more focus on actually flirting with her, just to see where things would go (if anywhere) and we did come to a point where she said something like "I think you are flirting with me!" and I openly acknowledged it. So we discussed it, like I always end up doing :P She said she hadn't been flirting with me, but is open to the idea of dating and basically just letting us get to know each other better; however she also said she doesn't want anything to happen that will mess up our friendship, especially since it's such a new one. So I am interested in her now, and the more I get to know her, the more intriguing she is to me, but we'll see if she does want anything more than friendship in the long run. I think having a relationship with her could be really fun and good for me and us, if things lead to that, but honestly if we only end up as friends, I would not be particularly distraught at this point, because she is a wonderful quirky friend that I am happy to have had enter my life :)
Another (newer) interest, whom I shall call Thorn (which has no relation to anything about her at all except for a really really random minor thing), kinda has the same story at this point: we've just started getting to know each other, and there may be more than friendship lurking in the possibilities. In this case, though, it seems that she is more evidently displaying interest in me than Shrink. Again, what I'm interpreting as interest could just be a lot of effort put into becoming good friends, but I have more of a gut feeling that Thorn is romantically interested in me. Or at least, maybe, she is exploring that possibility but isn't entirely sure about it yet. Hrmm. We shall see, I suppose!
There actually are a couple other vaguely possible interests of mine, but for the most part I get the vibe that they aren't romantically interested in me at all, and because of that I actually find it difficult to push along my feelings any further than the general thought of "Maybe if she shows interest in me some day in the future I'll revisit that possibility." This is actually a stark contrast to how I used to handle romantic interests before Dove. I was, first of all, absolutely horrible at noticing when a girl was definitely not interested in me. So if I decided I liked a girl, and she didn't return that sentiment, I would unfortunately stick with it to the bitter end until I had pushed her away so far that even friendship was out of the question, hoping desperately that she would change her mind. Now, if I can't see any possible interest from her, I pretty much won't even allow myself to feel further than a very mild casual interest. I haven't really directly realized that change in myself until this very moment. That feels good!
And, MBD is still lingering in the back of my mind as a potential option if things ever change for her...But things have really kinda taken a turn down a different path than I would've thought, even within the mold of friendship, so my feelings for her actually dropped off significantly, recently, which was a little bit surprising. But I don't feel like getting into that here. I have to leave something for my personal journal, right?
Ha. Well I need to get to sleep--grr, I still have to shower first too. I don't have school obligations until 1:30 pm tomorrow (or today), but I'm hanging out with someone at 10:30 or 11:00 am, so I actually have to get myself up in the morning! :P
TTFN, folks!
See what I did there?
I'm a clever boy.
Well, focused as I tend to be on this aspect of my life, I'll just out with it. New romantic interest(s), I do have (I'm Yoda?).
It's been a long time since I experienced the sensation of liking more than one girl at the same time (mostly just because it's been a long time since I was single before Dove), and it was confusing me a decent amount when I first realized that that is what's happening. I came to an internal resolution about it, though, which made me much more at peace with the fact that these multiple feelings can exist.
So, one interest, to whom I shall refer as....hmmmmmm. Maybe...no. Shrink! Ok. She is now Shrink. Lol. Nooooo one is going to get that except her ^_^ So, Shrink and I recently started becoming more active friends, and we've been hanging out somewhat regularly and getting to know each other for the first time, even though we've been at school together for 4 years. As we started talking more and hanging out we developed a particular dynamic between the two of us, and it was kiiiiind of flirtatious, but at the same time, not blatantly obvious enough for me to be like "Whoa she's definitely flirting with me." So I wasn't sure if I really did like her or I just wanted to get to be really good friends with her. After a while I decided I would put slightly more focus on actually flirting with her, just to see where things would go (if anywhere) and we did come to a point where she said something like "I think you are flirting with me!" and I openly acknowledged it. So we discussed it, like I always end up doing :P She said she hadn't been flirting with me, but is open to the idea of dating and basically just letting us get to know each other better; however she also said she doesn't want anything to happen that will mess up our friendship, especially since it's such a new one. So I am interested in her now, and the more I get to know her, the more intriguing she is to me, but we'll see if she does want anything more than friendship in the long run. I think having a relationship with her could be really fun and good for me and us, if things lead to that, but honestly if we only end up as friends, I would not be particularly distraught at this point, because she is a wonderful quirky friend that I am happy to have had enter my life :)
Another (newer) interest, whom I shall call Thorn (which has no relation to anything about her at all except for a really really random minor thing), kinda has the same story at this point: we've just started getting to know each other, and there may be more than friendship lurking in the possibilities. In this case, though, it seems that she is more evidently displaying interest in me than Shrink. Again, what I'm interpreting as interest could just be a lot of effort put into becoming good friends, but I have more of a gut feeling that Thorn is romantically interested in me. Or at least, maybe, she is exploring that possibility but isn't entirely sure about it yet. Hrmm. We shall see, I suppose!
There actually are a couple other vaguely possible interests of mine, but for the most part I get the vibe that they aren't romantically interested in me at all, and because of that I actually find it difficult to push along my feelings any further than the general thought of "Maybe if she shows interest in me some day in the future I'll revisit that possibility." This is actually a stark contrast to how I used to handle romantic interests before Dove. I was, first of all, absolutely horrible at noticing when a girl was definitely not interested in me. So if I decided I liked a girl, and she didn't return that sentiment, I would unfortunately stick with it to the bitter end until I had pushed her away so far that even friendship was out of the question, hoping desperately that she would change her mind. Now, if I can't see any possible interest from her, I pretty much won't even allow myself to feel further than a very mild casual interest. I haven't really directly realized that change in myself until this very moment. That feels good!
And, MBD is still lingering in the back of my mind as a potential option if things ever change for her...But things have really kinda taken a turn down a different path than I would've thought, even within the mold of friendship, so my feelings for her actually dropped off significantly, recently, which was a little bit surprising. But I don't feel like getting into that here. I have to leave something for my personal journal, right?
Ha. Well I need to get to sleep--grr, I still have to shower first too. I don't have school obligations until 1:30 pm tomorrow (or today), but I'm hanging out with someone at 10:30 or 11:00 am, so I actually have to get myself up in the morning! :P
TTFN, folks!
Saturday, April 13, 2013
My favorite keyboard working again!!!
I really don't have a reason to write this post at all other than I just got my favorite Saitek gaming keyboard working properly again and I LOOOOOOVE typing on it!! Ahhhhhh....It's so much more comfortable. The keys have just the right amount of action, but a relatively soft rebound, so it's kind of like typing on a laptop keyboard but with full-sized keys instead of those stupid flat ones. I LOVE IT SO MUCH.....Ok I think I can stop now :P Sorry if I'm in love with my keyboard. :D
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